


City of Refuge

by thesometimeswarrior



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Angst, Canon Compliant, Episode: s02e11 The Desert, Family, Ficlet, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Guilt, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Uncle-Nephew Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-11
Updated: 2017-11-11
Packaged: 2019-01-31 21:47:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 665
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12690825
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thesometimeswarrior/pseuds/thesometimeswarrior
Summary: "The best course of action would be for you and your nephew to go to Ba Sing Se.”His guts lurch, and his muscles freeze, as though faced with a sudden eclipse of the sun. It has been nearly six years now, and each time he thinks of the city, each time he pictures it…well, he endeavors not to, even if avoiding it has been slightly more difficult since coming to the Earth Kingdom. “Ba Sing Se?”Iroh, and the sacrifices he makes for his nephew.





	City of Refuge

“It seems to me, Grand Lotus,” his host says once the Order formalities are settled and Iroh subsequently finishes his long account. “That the best course of action would be for you and your nephew to go to Ba Sing Se.”

His guts lurch, and his muscles freeze, as though faced with a sudden eclipse of the sun. It has been nearly six years now, and each time he thinks of the city, each time he pictures it…well, he endeavors not to, even if avoiding it has been slightly more difficult since coming to the Earth Kingdom. “Ba Sing Se?”

“Why, yes. We can, of course, get you passports and all the necessary documentation. Can we not?” He looks toward another junior-looking member sitting in the circle, who nods once in affirmation.

“But the Earth Kingdom capitol city…surely—”

“My dear Grand Lotus. No one knows better than you do how many refugees from the Fire Nation find shelter within her walls. Is that not what you and your nephew have become? No one in the Earth Kingdom would be suspicious, and no one in the Fire Nation—including your niece—would think to look for you there.” The man pauses. “And even if they did, they cannot breach those walls. Even you yourself were unable to do so.”

Iroh closes his eyes. His host is wrong—ability had had nothing to do with it. He _could_ have breached the Inner Wall in a matter of weeks, if not sooner, was so close to doing so…But then Lu Ten…and he saw the blood on his hands…so much blood, all _his fault_ …Lu Ten…all those Earth Kingdom sons…He _ran._

He cannot go back to Ba Sing Se. Anywhere else, he can pretend that the blood is not on him, or at least choose not to think of it. But there, the blood is still pooled fresh, no many how many years it has been. There he would feel drenched with it, would have to face it day after day after day, would have to see Lu Ten’s lifeless form, hear his final raspy breaths, again and again and again…He _cannot_ go back. He is not strong enough.

“Grand Lotus,” says his host again, softly, as if he can sense the pain the man is in, even if he cannot possibly imagine specifically why. “Did you not say that you wanted to keep your nephew safe? To give him a chance at building a life of his own, a peaceful one, and not one lived in fear or anger? To me, this seems like the only place where that could happen.” He sighs, contemplatively, and after a moment, speaks again. “Perhaps, if it is too difficult, your nephew can go to Ba Sing Se alone. We can tell him that we were only able to secure a passport for him, and not for you…”

“No.” Iroh opens his eyes, speaks with a newfound firmness in his voice. “I will not abandon him.” 

Iroh is not strong enough. But this is not about him—stopped being about him the moment three years ago when he held his freshly burned nephew in his arms, trembling.

He is not strong enough. But this is about Zuko, and if it will bring Zuko a chance at peace, Iroh will face all of it anyway, the city and his past and his grief and his guilt. And for Zuko, he'll do it gladly—his own strength or lack thereof, his own courage or lack thereof, and his own trauma all be damned.

Iroh takes a grounding breath. “I would be grateful,” he says, finally, to his host. “If you could acquire two passports. We will go to Ba Sing Se.”

But if he takes a few moments to calm himself, to still his shaking hands, before adjourning the meeting and informing his nephew of their plan...well, he's a Grand Lotus. It is his right.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed! I love comments!


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